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the pie charts compare ways of accessing the news in canada and australia

The chart illustrates the percentage of ways of reaching information in Canada and Australia.
Overall, Canadians receive the information from TV or Online often. Australians use TV too, but online forms of news are more popular than canadians. The least way of accessing the news is not specified chores for both of them. The other informative ways are very close to each other.
Looking more closely, in the case of Canada comes TV top of the list, with around 40 percent. Online just ahead of the first way, accounting for 36 percent. Next comes Print and Radio not, nearly as popular, with just 14 and 7 respectively. The bottom of the list is not specified technique, which amounts to 3 percent.
With respect to Australia, online leading other ways as you see, at around 52 percent. The second most popular TV, constituting 37 percent. This was followed by print, with just over 7 percent. The least popular forms with 2 percent each other are radio and not specified.

6.0

The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.

Suggestions
  • Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
  • Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and the majority of sentences are error-free. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that affect the overall clarity of the essay.

The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the main trends, differences or stages. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and by avoiding some inaccuracies.

Suggestions
  • Provide more specific details to support your main points.
  • Avoid using the term ‘chores’ as it is not appropriate in this context.