Some people believe that history has no value in the contemporary world. But some believe that we still need history to learn from the past. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion.

In today’s fast-paced world, there is a ongoing debate about the history which has no value based on some individuals’ concept. But others think that we must learn history from the past. In this essay I will discuss both views and provide my own opinion.
On the one hand, it is argued that there are not benefits of the history, So some inhabitants believe that it is not crucial in the modern world. However, we should discuss our daily problems and goals. For example, In worldwide the urban areas are getting more and more by constructing many skyscrapers. Because of this, people used to care about their standart of living and future careers.
On the other hand, it is argued that individuals must know not only their history, but also the scientists of their country who did lots of efforts to enrich their history with its sciences and historical buildings. Furthermore, these kind of actions have been inspiring people to learn the history of their nations. For instance, In my hometown, primary school onwards people tend to learn the history from the past by their teacher at least three times a week at school. I think there are many scientists in my country who resulted in the development of subjects like maths, biology, physics, and also geograpy.
In my opinion, inhabitant supposed to learn their nation’s history as well as scientists works. In contrast, people can answer any questions related to their history at any place if some tourists ask from them, So I think the availability of history is very vital for individuals life.
In conclusion, although some people think that history has no value, albeit others believe that learning history is very important. So people should know about their history to enrich their mental ability and also the works of their scientists.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and restating the opinion.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to link all the ideas in a paragraph to the main point of the paragraph.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to strengthen the argument.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds some variety and interest to the writing. However, there are several grammatical errors that can be distracting, such as issues with subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and preposition use. These errors can be particularly noticeable and may sometimes hinder understanding. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors and improve the overall quality of the writing.

The essay addresses the task and provides a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both viewpoints and providing the writer’s opinion. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a more formal tone and style to better fit the task requirements.