Check
More and more countries to significant problem,such as increase of crime in adults.In this essay,we explore potential solution to adress it comprehensively.
Fisrts and foremost ,this issues has a various reasons and on one the primary cause of this problem to social media such as telegram and so on.In other words, at the time many parents give a telephone for their child and they didnot attend to thier behaviour.Adulents use a social networking and private account of telegram or Instagram. As a result,they can see diversity crime in social media and they may be follow to crime.According to local police,many people are suffering with cybercrime whether this this crime is doing by teens .Moreover,physiologist think that,spare time may able to causes of crime ,since when child have more and more free time,we may see some mental and helathy problem from child’s brain and body.As a consequence, kids will face to depression and stress,so this situation can bring of crime for adults.
Although this issue has more essential results, we have sollution to resolve of problem.Firstly,parents should control their child’s private telephone and they should also careful to kid’s behaviour.In addition,parents can give a course or activities to children and adults can learn a language from these course and as a result this situation can change to good way from teen’s life and future.Otherwise ,child able to doing a sport in their spare time and sport can help less of stress and get of energy for their.
To conclude, increase of crime in teenagers has some causes such as social networking or free time ,we have suggestions like doing the sport and learning a subjects.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, there are some issues with coherence, as the connection between ideas can be unclear. More effective use of cohesive devices and a clearer connection between ideas would enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and spelling that can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay. More accurate and varied vocabulary, as well as careful attention to spelling, would enhance the lexical resource of the essay.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay contains a number of grammatical errors, including issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. These errors can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay. Proofreading to correct these errors, as well as focusing on using a variety of sentence structures, would improve the grammatical range and accuracy of the essay.
The essay addresses the task and provides a relevant response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the task and provides a relevant response, with the writer exploring potential solutions to address the increase in adult crime. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported, with more specific examples and a clearer connection between the ideas being discussed. The conclusion could also be strengthened by summarizing the main points and reiterating the proposed solutions.
Suggestions
- Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence and that all the sentences in the paragraph support this topic.
- Consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments.