Some people believe that social media has a negative impact on individuals and society, while others think it has a positive effect. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.* Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
In our modern world, some people believe that social media has a negative impact on individuals and society, whereas others believe it has positive effects. I personally agree with the latter group people.
From my perspective, social media is absolutely useful because social media can help us both learn and entertain ourselves. In addition, you research many extraordinary topics and other beneficial skills. If you want to learn high-quality subjects, social media assists in learning and improving your skills and knowledge when you use proper steps. I might add many that there are educational programs for learning. For example, artificial intelligence and modern applications, these programs are absolutely useful for students and pupils. If you feel tired, social media can help offer entertainment shows to help you relax. Additionally, you can earn a significant amount of money from social media. For example, you can buy cryptocurrency and sell this digital currency.
On the other hand, some people think that social media has a negative impact on individuals and society. Because many people expend much time for social media while using proper steps. In addition, children don’t play outside, and they only prefer to play video games by social media. In view of the fact that scientists mention social media has negative effects on people if they don’t go outside and don’t do physical activity, your mental health becoming worse than other people. And your eyesight will deteriorate, your body will fill out. In addition, you will be sick frequently if you don’t go outside and have other negative impacts than the positive effects.
In conclusion, if people use proper steps from social media, our lifestyle becomes fitter. And we never become ill while frequently using social media. I personally believe people will stop using social media with their children.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy. Additionally, the use of more formal language throughout the essay would help to strengthen the overall tone.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that can be distracting. For example, “If you want to learn high-quality subjects, social media assists in learning and improving your skills and knowledge when you use proper steps” could be revised to “If you want to learn high-quality subjects, social media can assist in enhancing your skills and knowledge, provided you use it appropriately.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including subject-verb agreement and preposition use, would also help to improve the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both the positive and negative impacts of social media on individuals and society. The writer presents a clear stance, supporting the use of social media for learning and entertainment, and provides examples to support their position. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay would benefit from a more detailed exploration of the potential drawbacks of social media. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points and restating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well supported by the rest of the essay.