Some people thinkt hat dangerous sports should be banned, while others think people should be free to choose. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

People have different views about banning the practice of dangerous sports with some suggesting it should be stopped to exercise them while others think otherwise. I personally share the latter view as people should have autonomy to make their own choices and it may cause some economic losses.
On the one hand, there are two main benefits of halting the practice of extreme sports. The former one is safety concerns. Banning dangerous sports would protect individuals from serious injuries or even death. It is the responsibility of the government to ensure the safety of its citizens, and extreme sports pose unnecessary risks. Banning base jumping in urban areas can be a good case in point. This sport involves leaping off tall buildings with parachute, and accidents have led to several accidents and fatalities. Dangerous sports can also result in costly medical bills and burden the healthcare system. Banning them could potentially reduce the financial strain on healthcare services, freeing up resources for more essential medical needs.
On the other hand, I would argue that banning extreme sports may lead to infringes upon personal freedoms and huge economical losses. People should have the autonomy to make choices about their own lives, including participating in dangerous sports. Banning these activities limit personal freedoms and individual independence. For example, rock climbing can be dangerous, but many enthusiasts take precautions, such as using safety equipment and receiving proper training. Furthermore, dangerous sports often generate and boost local economies through tourism, sponsorships, and related industries. Banning these sports could lead to economic losses unemployment in affected areas. Take allowing the sport of bull riding as an example. Bull riding events draw large crowds, generate tourism, and create job opportunities for event organizers, bull breeders, and local businesses. Banning it could lead to economic losses in regions where it is popular.
In conclusion, although banning extreme sports would bring safety and health benefits, I firmly believe that allowing them would encourage individuals’ personal freedom and economic growth for the local businesses.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions

Use more linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. For example, in the sentence “Banning it could lead to economic losses in regions where it is popular,” the pronoun “it” is unclear and could be replaced with “bull riding.”

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from errors. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity. For example, in the sentence “The former one is safety concerns,” the phrase “the former one” is not appropriate and should be replaced with “the primary reason.”

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal opinion. The writer effectively uses a variety of supporting examples to illustrate the points made. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments. For example, in the sentence “Banning it could lead to economic losses unemployment in affected areas,” the writer could provide a specific example of a region where a ban on bull riding had a significant economic impact.