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Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the important thing to succeed in life?

After failing at school some individuals usually become successful later in life. I think this is because of the eagerness to make risky decisions by those who have already overcome a fear of fail and their adaptability to learn independently. Among numerous factors, not being afraid of making mistakes and taking risks are the most significant reasons behind this phenomenon.
Admittedly, for some students following school curriculum can be challenging, particularly science classes and math. When these learners with poor background sit the exams, they are likely to mess them. As a result, they are either excluded from school or not accepted into university. However, these illiterate people might often make a fortune in life where the real success requires one to venture. In other words, those individuals, who had already been rejected earlier at school, may be ready to welcome the failure and continue to try it again. Consequently, they finally make a huge difference in terms of societal and personal settings.
Another point that should be accounted is that the children who are left with no educational support need to acquire skills through trial and error. After experiencing new things without guidance, they usually become self-made. So the autodidactism, a skill to learn by oneself, is mainly found in most inventors, scientists, and entrepreneurs. One bright example of this viewpoint is Thomas Edison, a physic who made a number of breakthrough innovations with no proper educational background.
In order to succeed in life a person should learn how to manage their stress. I mean, success does not usually come to those who are fearful of failure and making high-stakes decisions. For instance, Elon Musk would not be in current profile that is too high if he had not managed to overcome self-doubt about his
ideas. Despite being one of the wealthier figures on our planet, he has no shame of sharing his ambitious targets with the public. Human settlement on Mars or full automation of manual labour in manufacturing to name a few of those aims that have not been achieved yet. However, he has gained a global reputation showing the world that genuine results can take much more time.
To conclude, it is true that fortunate members of modern era are usually those who had failed in their studies. This situation can explained by the nature of success which necessitates venturing and acquiring skills on one’s own.

7.5

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions
  • Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
  • Use more linking words to connect ideas.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more specific examples could enhance the overall quality of the essay.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and is generally free of grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect verb forms that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more specific examples could enhance the overall quality of the essay.

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons why some people who fail in school are often successful in life. The writer presents a clear explanation of the factors contributing to this phenomenon, such as the willingness to take risks and the ability to learn independently. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could benefit from a more formal tone and style.

Suggestions
  • Ensure that the conclusion fully summarizes the main points made in the essay.
  • Use a more formal tone and style throughout the essay.