The maps below show t
The maps show how the science park had changed in 2008 and until now .
Overall, the park had experienced major changes, the most important was the construction of modern features, which replaced the greenspaces . Another visible change was the road infrastructure in the park .
In 2008, park could access from north, east and west sides. The car park was located in the middle of the science park , served as a bridge between western business units and southeastern cyber security building. There were also railroad stretching from the west to the east,
Today, the park saw significant developments, including the construction research and development building to the left side of offices, the university hub replaced by reception, and the expansion of cyber security and now it is like L shaped . Moreover, the IT centre was turned into a new innovation center, while the car parkdecreased the size . Finally, transport systems have been improved , by building a railroad station, new footpath and the bust stop in the east, and the rest area were woodland and grassland.
The essay is logically organized and there is a clear progression of ideas. However, the use of some cohesive devices is somewhat inaccurate, and there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Ensure that the use of cohesive devices is accurate and appropriate for the context.
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay makes use of a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there is a good range of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors and awkward constructions that hinder understanding.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the information provided. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and by making more explicit comparisons between the two maps.
Suggestions
- Try to include more specific details and data from the maps in your writing.
- Make more explicit comparisons between the two maps to provide a more comprehensive analysis of the changes that have taken place.