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The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree

In today’s contemporary world, there is a dilemma about whether the working week should be shortened or not. While I believe that getting an extra day off will offer several promising benefits for both employees and employers, the reduction in productivity of some businesses and misuse of much spare time may pose undeniable challenges.
On the one hand, getting extra weekends for workers means spending more quality time with their family members, ensuring a better work-life balance. As employees have fewer working days, they will have time to do sports, engage in their favorite hobbies, and so on, with family members or friends. In turn, this situation may lead to increased mental and physical well-being, offering a chance to get rid of work-related stress and anxiety. As for employers providing their workers with more days off, it can ensure increased work quality. If workers relieve work-related stress and depression, it may guarantee their better participation at work.
On the other hand, some industries, especially those that have a strong reliance on labor, may lose their rate of productivity regardless of increased quality. For example, the food industry mostly relies on labor, as the cultivation and harvesting of some vegetables and fruits require people in some stages of these processes. If the workers who work in such a field have more days off, the productivity may decrease, making most companies struggle to meet the demands. Furthermore, having more spare time sometimes leads to wasting time. As workers have fewer working days, they may spend their much free time just surfing the Internet or scrolling videos on social platforms, losing their precious time and energy by getting used to a sedentary lifestyle. That situation may pose several chronic illnesses, including diabetes and cancer, because of a lack of physical activity.
In conclusion, despite a number of potential benefits, offering more days off will lead to decreased productivity in some industries and wasting of much time in front of a screen.

8.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved.

The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each discuss a different aspect of the issue, and a conclusion that restates your position. You use transition words and phrases effectively to guide the reader through your argument (e.g., “On the one hand,” “On the other hand,” “In conclusion”), contributing to a smooth flow of ideas. To further improve cohesion, you could ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that previews the main idea to be discussed.

Suggestions
  • Try to ensure that your ideas flow more smoothly from one to the next.

The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary and idiomatic language. You demonstrate a good command of vocabulary, with a variety of terms related to the topic (e.g., “work-life balance,” “productivity,” “spare time,” “sedentary lifestyle”). Your use of language is clear and effective, contributing to a thorough discussion of the issue. To further enhance your lexical resource, you could incorporate more varied and precise language to discuss the specific benefits and challenges of a shorter working week in different industries or contexts.

The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and is generally free from grammatical errors. The essay showcases a good range of grammatical structures, with a variety of sentence types used effectively to convey your ideas. Your grammar and punctuation are consistently accurate, contributing to a clear and professional presentation. To further demonstrate your grammatical range, you could experiment with more complex sentence structures or discuss hypothetical situations related to the topic using the conditional mood.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both the potential benefits and challenges of a shorter working week. You present a clear position, supporting the idea that an extra day off could be beneficial for workers and employers. Your arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. To further enhance your task response, you could provide more specific evidence or statistics to support your arguments, particularly regarding the potential impact on productivity.

Suggestions
  • Consider providing more specific evidence or statistics to support your arguments.