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Some people think mobile (cell) phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In an era characterized by the proliferation of digital technology, it has become increasingly common for some individuals to suggest that smartphones should be prohibited in public spaces like libraries, stores, and public transportation. I completely disagree with this notion, as these devices do more good than harm when viewed through the lenses of their potential advantages.
Critics of mobile phones cite various reasons to support their stance. When individuals, particularly at a young age, spend a lot of time utilizing cell phones, they may find it difficult to juggle multiple responsibilities such as school assignments, collaborative projects, and extracurricular activities, which can hinder their ability to meet deadlines and excel in standardized exams. As their focus shifts away from essential tasks, so does their difficulty managing time, adversely affecting their learning efficiency, morale, and overall academic performance. In a world where teenagers already struggle with immense parental pressure, constant social comparison, and fierce peer competition, excessive smartphone use might exacerbate their challenges related to time management and productivity.
Despite these worries, in my view, the merits of the utilization of mobile devices bear greater weight. When children use smartphones, they not only increase their techno-literacy but also gain access to a vast array of educational apps and online materials, including interactive learning games, video tutorials, virtual classrooms, and e-books, which can enhance their learning experience. This wealth of resources allows them to easily explore new subjects, reinforce their knowledge, and improve their academic performance, thereby fostering a deeper understanding and greater enthusiasm for their studies. At a time when digital immigrants propose restricting wireless phones, we, as digital natives, must stress the importance of the benefits these gadgets bring.
In summary, although I acknowledge the arguments in favor of banning smart devices due to their drawbacks, especially in terms of time management and academic performance, I remain convinced that these concerns pale in comparison to the upsides, like increased educational opportunities and enhanced learning opportunities.

8.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
  • Ensure that your arguments are fully developed and explained.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions, but they do not impede communication.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be more concise and focused.

Suggestions
  • Consider revising the introduction to make your position clear from the outset.
  • Make sure to fully develop all of your arguments and provide specific examples to support them.