The government should ban smoking in all public places, even though this would restrict some other people's freedoms. Do you agree or disagree? Give your reason.

Some people claim that smoking in all public places should be banned by the government, although it would restrict some other’s rights for freedom. I agree that smoking should not be allowed in all public places
Firstly, such restriction would have a positive impact on the health of the community. There have been studies conducted, that smoking is harmful not only for the people who smoke, but also for the people that breath in the air filled with the smoke. By smoking in public places, smokers are not the only ones to experience consequences; children and other adults who walk by are influenced by the smoke in a worse way than someone who smokes. Moreover, by forbidding smoking in all public places, the usage of cigarettes may decrease, since there may be only few places where it is allowed so smoke. This will lead to a healthier community, because cigarettes are one of the main causes of many respiratory system diseases, such as lung cancer.
In the case for environment, cigarettes are one of the major causes of air pollution. Air is one of the most vital resources of our planet, without which, we are not able to survive. By decreasing the usage of cigarettes , air quality may get better.
Lastly, due to children being the most easiest to influence, by seeing adults smoking, they might start too. Smoking in public places is an indirect propaganda, especially since the electronic cigarettes have been invented. By being colorful, electronic cigarettes are designed in a way to attract attention. Smoking before the legal age may lead to severe health and mental problems.
To conclude, smoking in public places indirectly affects health of non-smokers, and is the indirect propaganda to children. Forbidding smoking on streets and other public places , may potentially lead to a healthier community and better air quality. This is why I agree that government should ban smoking in public places.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions

Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
Ensure that your conclusion fully summarizes the main points of your essay.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. For example, “environment” is not the most appropriate term to use when discussing the impact of smoking on air quality; “atmosphere” might be a better choice. Additionally, the phrase “the most easiest to influence” is not grammatically correct; a more appropriate phrasing would be “the easiest to influence.”

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and is generally grammatically accurate. However, there are a few minor errors that could be corrected for clarity. For example, in the sentence, “By smoking in public places, smokers are not the only ones to experience consequences; children and other adults who walk by are influenced by the smoke in a worse way than someone who smokes,” the phrase “in a worse way” is awkward and could be rephrased for clarity.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the impact of smoking in public places and the potential benefits of a ban. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing a more thorough discussion of the potential drawbacks of a ban and how these might be addressed.