Question: Some people think that the best way to increase the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries. Others believe that it is more important to improve the school facilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. You should write at least 250 words in response to this question, presenting arguments for both sides and concluding with your own perspective.
Task 2
According to some data, one of the effective ways to increase the quality of education is to increase teachersʼ salaries. Some individuals consider that it is more important to improve the school facilities. In my opinion, these ways will be useful for students and it can show good results.
On the one hand, many people argued that teacher pay does not affect student learning. Additionally because this profession is considered
highly respected by students and students can trust their teachers all the time. Raising teacher salaries can cause to rise responsibility of teachers. And also they focus to improve their teaching skills.
On the other hand, improving school facilities is good way that includes investing money to classroom conditions and providing necessary resources. Moreover this can effect interests of students to learning new things. And also it can help to teachers during teaching process. As a result, the level of understanding of students will increase significantly.
In conclusion, improving facilities is more important and effective way than raising teachers salaries.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the key points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the conclusion and summarize the key points.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are some sentences that are unclear or ungrammatical. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or ungrammatical phrasing that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both views and providing the writer’s opinion. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay could provide more specific examples to support the points being made.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point.