Question: Some people think that the best way to increase the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries. Others believe that it is more important to improve the school facilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. You should write at least 250 words in response to this question, presenting arguments for both sides and concluding with your own perspective.
Task 2
According to some data, one of the effective ways to increase the quality of education is to increase teachersʼ salaries. Some individuals consider that it is more important to improve the school facilities. In my opinion, these ways will be useful for students and it can show good results.
On the one hand, many people argued that teacher pay does not affect student learning. Additionally because this profession is considered
highly respected by students and students can trust their teachers all the time. Raising teacher salaries can cause to rise responsibility of teachers. And also they focus to improve their teaching skills.
On the other hand, improving school facilities is good way that includes investing money to classroom conditions and providing necessary resources. Moreover this can effect interests of students to learning new things. And also it can help to teachers during teaching process. As a result, the level of understanding of students will increase significantly.
In conclusion, improving facilities is more important and effective way than raising teachers salaries.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the key points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the key points and clearly state your opinion.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures and there are only minor errors. However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples, which would make the writing more persuasive and engaging.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments and make your writing more persuasive and engaging.