Some university student want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

It is believed that, some university students want to study all the subjects additionally to their own field, while others say that they should only focus on their proficiency. I, however, off the opinion, that they ought to learn all the university’s subjects. In this essay, I will write about the advantages of studying only subject and studying additional subjects, as well as, the ways how to get benefit from learning latter.
By learning their needed subjects, students can get a lot of advantage, like saving additional time and, being more focused on their major. They will have enough time to spend with friends and family. Due to, not having too much knowledge and multitasking. Another advantage of this trend is being more focused on their professional subject. As a result of not learning several majors at the same time, the student can be professional in their own field. It also will be beneficial to their future career. They will be able to be genius in their job. Therefore, they can help to their co-workers to solve complex issues.
Albeit, the benefits of learning all subjects are a lot. For example, one can gain various new things by studying all university subjects. In this case, they will exactly be the person who thinks out of the box. Another one is they can probably make lots of friends as a result of sitting in several lessons and lectures. Thus, having numerous people from different profession, they will easily achieve their particular goal. For instance, my own brother studied a lot of subjects while studying in his university. After graduating the university and getting a job he was more broadminded then his colleges and had a lots of friends.
To conclude, although, the benefits of studying for a qualification, the numerous benefits comes from being open-minded and having a range of friends who are professional of a particular job.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the conclusion and summarize the main points.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of synonyms could be increased to avoid repetition and enhance the overall quality of the writing.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage that can cause some difficulty for the reader. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds to the overall quality of the writing. However, there are a few grammatical errors that could be corrected for clarity. For example, “they will probably make lots of friends as a result of sitting in several lessons and lectures” could be rephrased as “they will probably make lots of friends as a result of attending several classes and lectures.” Additionally, the use of more precise and varied vocabulary could help to convey the intended meaning more clearly and effectively.

The essay addresses the task and provides a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages of both approaches and providing a personal opinion. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the potential drawbacks of each approach to provide a more balanced view. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing the main points and clearly restating the writer’s opinion.