In many countries, people are living longer than ever before. The advantages can outweigh the disadvantages?

In our contemporary world, inhabitants are living quite a while than ever before in many countries. There are some argues among people about the usefulness of aging population. They say it leads to harms, while others believe having elderly people is really beneficial. Due to some distinct factors the adventages of it couldn’t outweigh the disadvantages.
It is noticeable that these days people are living with more and more amenities and opportunities such as technology, modern healthcare system, safer accomodation. In consequence, they are experiencing the life for longer time. Undoubtedly, having more life creates more elder inhabitants, leading some notable benefits for younger generation, as they have strong experience. So they might be profitable by sharing them to others. Not only are their advices needy, but also they are really believable. Furthermore, olders are the head of families and it can thrive easily with them. Even in the past, some nations were better that have aging population.
On the one hand, it leads to some problems. Firstly, government should spend excessive money for them, also it is harmful for budget. Secondly, if older people are many, the rate of illness definitely increases, as a result, the government also should ensure hospitals, services, and drugs. Instead of it, they can set aside such cash for educational system for their development because it make plenty of rewards in the economy. Thirdly, it has an adverse effect on workforce, what plays a vital role on improvement. Decreasing the level of workforce make government spend to younger generation.
In conclusion, the aging population would create some sensible problems like a lack of workforce, medicine system, and retirement fees that can outweigh the advantages, and it may be a barrier to raising economical conditions in many countries.

6.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the progression of ideas a bit difficult to follow. Additionally, there are some issues with coherence, as the connection between ideas can sometimes be unclear. More explicit linking words and phrases could help to improve the overall coherence of the essay.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure that the use of cohesive devices is consistent throughout the essay.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to enhance the overall quality of the essay.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay uses a variety of complex structures, but there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. These errors can sometimes make the writing difficult to understand. The essay would benefit from a more thorough review to identify and correct these errors. Additionally, the use of more varied sentence structures could help to improve the overall quality of the essay.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. The introduction and conclusion are well-developed and the essay is well-organized. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with more specific examples. The essay would benefit from a more detailed exploration of the potential advantages and disadvantages of an aging population, as well as a more thorough analysis of the potential impact on the economy and society.