The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.
The bar graph illustrates the amount of money spent on five consumer goods in two countries France and the Uk in 2010. Units are measured in pounds sterling.
Overall, the UK dominated in terms of an expansion on consumer goods more than France throughout the year while the percentage of computers trend increased minimally over the period shown. But the figure for expenses on cars reached a peak in the UK in the given year.
Regarding the expenditure on cars for consumer goods started with 450,000 in the UK compared to the proportion of France, beginning with 400,000. However, Both countries were followed by similar trends on computer sale, the UK saw a negligible decrease, with 350,000 and France also witnessed slightly drop to approximately 370,000 respectively.
While the UK increased dramatically to 400,000 on book expenses, the reverse was true for France with the expenditure 300,000. Furthermore, both France and the UK registered a dramatic decline on perfume, with 130,000 in the UK and with 200,000 in France. In addition, the final consumer goods differed between two countries, the UK grew remarkably to 350,000 on camera expenditures compared with the expenses of France, decreasing to 150,000.
Words 194.
Overall band score: 7,0
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. The information is sequenced in a way that makes it easy to follow the trends. However, there are a few areas where the use of cohesive devices could be improved.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to make the relationships between the ideas clearer.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances where word choice could be improved.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are very few grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances where sentence structure could be improved.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the information. The essay also makes some comparisons where relevant. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific details and by making more comparisons between the two countries.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific details about the data, such as the exact amounts spent on each consumer good in both countries.
- Make more comparisons between the two countries to highlight the differences and similarities in their spending patterns.