The chart below shows the expenditure of two countries on consumer goods in 2010.

The bar graph illustrates the amount of money spent on five consumer goods in two countries France and the Uk in 2010. Units are measured in pounds sterling.
Overall, the Uk dominated in terms of an expansion on consumer goods than France throughout the year while the percentage of computers trend increased minimally over the period of shown. But the figure for expenses on cars reached a peak in the UK in the given year.
As regards an expenditure on cars for consumer goods started with 450,000 in the UK compared to the proportion of France, beginning with 400,000. However, Both countries were followed by similar trends on computer sale, the UK saw a negligible decrease, with 350,000 and France also witnessed slightly drop to approximately 370,000 respectively.
While the UK increased dramatically to 400,000 on book expenses, the reverse was true for France with 300,000. Furthermore, both France and the UK registered a dramatic decline on perfume, with 130,000 in the UK and with 200,000 in France. In addition, the final consumer goods were different in two countries, the UK grew remarkably to 350,000 on camera expenditures compared with the expenses of France, decreasing to 150,000.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview. The use of cohesive devices is effective, and there is a good range of linking words. However, there are a few areas where the flow of information could be improved.

Suggestions

Consider using a wider range of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all information in the paragraph is relevant to that topic.

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence structure.

The essay provides a clear overview of the information and makes appropriate comparisons. The key features and significant trends are identified and supported with relevant data. However, the essay could be improved by providing more detailed analysis and making more precise comparisons.