More teenagers are now playing computer games in their free time. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh its disadvantages?

Many adolescents are spent their space time to play computer games now.Although,playing games have some negative consequences.However,amusement with using computer for gaming is more beneficial.
On the one hand,playing games have negative influence for health such as problem with vision,skeleton structure also especially among teenagers with nervous system because they spent many hours in front of screen without movement and get nervous when playing video games.For example many professional and amateur gamers teenagers have problems with vision and anxious
However,playing games also have advantages for teens,video games can enhance future potential,imagination and communication with people because certain type of games especially strategy-based ones help improve teamwork features and always keep to connect with different people and some type of games as well helpfull for improve creativity.For example in many jobs employees who responsible for creative side prefer spent more time playing video games
In conclusion,actually overplaying video games have pros for health and behaviour,but new generation know their limite and playing computer games have more benefit influences which they will use for their future prosperity

5.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a basic structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes awkward or incorrect, leading to a lack of clarity. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and providing a clear final thought.

Suggestions

Try to use a variety of cohesive devices appropriately to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear final thought.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use more complex language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation that can be distracting. Additionally, the use of informal language (e.g. ‘amusement’) is not always appropriate in an academic essay.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. However, these do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that can hinder understanding. Issues include subject-verb agreement, tense consistency, and preposition use. Proofreading is recommended to correct these errors. Additionally, the use of informal language (e.g. ‘amusement’) is not always appropriate in an academic essay.

The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of teenagers playing computer games. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay would benefit from more specific examples and a deeper analysis of the implications of the argument. The conclusion is somewhat abrupt and could be more fully developed.