Fewer young people play sports and exercise these days. Why is this? What are the effects of this?

The number of children playing sports or exercising es diminishing. I think this problem can be attributed to several factors and it has mainly negative effects .
There are several causes why children are not exercising much. One ofthem his children are spending their time for sevalling through social media and playing games online. Online gaming which rewards children instantly can be seen as cheap dopamine. Children scroll through social media and less active than dimoded for healthy life style. Playing sports can be seen as a hardwork. Even just playing ordinary games may Hem a physical demanding job for children. In addition, children’s less active life style can be created because of their parents. Parents’ demanding academic standards and putting courses and tutoring classes ahead exercises, making children engage with non-stop study Prioritizing their parent’s dreams , children study more than caring about their own health.
Less exercising comes with effects which are mainly negative. Firstly, when they exercise less, they feel sick move. Children face with several health problems which make children live in a sedentary lifestyle. It causes obesity and while someone has extra fat there will be problem with cardiovascular system. Losing discipline because of less exercising can be seen as one of the effects. Living in sedentary, no-discipline life makes children lose their confidence . Their teamwork lovens as they don’t play in groups’ sports which is essential for building and working their future job and life. In the future it even can be difficult for them to go for work every day.
To conclude, playing online games, social media and having no time for exercising causes teenagers donot play sports or exercise. That effects badly to their health and makes them lose their discipline and descent future.

5.5

The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the thesis.

Suggestions

Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph and connect them back to the main point of the essay.

The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are few grammatical errors. However, there are some errors in article and preposition usage. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free of grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of incorrect verb forms and sentence structures that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. However, the essay could be more fully developed with additional supporting details. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons fewer young people are playing sports and exercising and the effects of this trend. The writer presents a clear explanation of several factors contributing to this issue and the resulting negative effects on health and discipline. However, the essay could be more fully developed with additional supporting details and examples.