Some people think that certain old buildings are more worth preserving than other ones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some individuals believe that certain ancient structures are more worthy of preservation than others. I am in full agreement because maintaining all historical buildings requires a huge amount of money, and it seems profitless while there are various alternatives to build essential constructions instead of saving old ones.
On the one hand, while government should focus on preserving heritage buildings that demonstrate their history and have a crucial impact on society, such as Bukhara ark or Registan square , there are also insignificant ones . To keep all of them in good condition , the government should allocate a large sum of money , and this is certainly impossible. Therefore, spendinv funds to significant constructions is much more profitable, and these buildings can justify all the spendings because they are used as tourist attraction which is beneficial for country’s budget.
On the other hand, while we are living in rapidly developed world , the demand of residents is also increasing and it necessitates constructing various important buildings such as hospitals , schools, supermarkets , and other essential infrastructures. The unimportant ones not frequently used, take up valuable space that could be used for these essential structures. From my personal perspective, it would be more beneficial to change these kind of buildings into useful public facilities.
In conclusion, the concept of maintaining only heritage buildings , except all of them , is totally true and I completely agree with this opinion. Allocating funds to only important structures is much more beneficial , as well as the areas which they are located can be used for separate facilities.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and reiterate your stance.
The essay uses a variety of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases that could be improved. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases that could be improved. For example, “spendinv funds to significant constructions” should be “spending funds on significant constructions,” and “the unimportant ones not frequently used, take up valuable space” could be rephrased for clarity.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar and punctuation. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and punctuation issues that can affect the clarity of the writing. For example, “the government should focus on preserving heritage buildings that demonstrate their history and have a crucial impact on society, such as Bukhara ark or Registan square , there are also insignificant ones” should be “the government should focus on preserving heritage buildings that demonstrate their history and have a crucial impact on society, such as the Bukhara Ark or Registan Square; there are also some that are less significant.”
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the preservation of old buildings and the need to prioritize certain ones over others. The writer presents a clear stance, supporting the idea that only certain heritage buildings should be preserved due to the high costs involved. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant points, but the essay could benefit from more specific examples to strengthen the argument.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your argument.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all sentences in the paragraph support that idea.