The chart below shows the number of people employed in five types of work on one region of Australia in 2001 and 2008.
The bar chart illustrates how many people were employed in five different work sectors, namely sales, accounting, computing, nursing, and farming in Australia between 2001 and 2008.
Overall, out of these five working fields, sales stand out as the most popular occupation among Australians in both years, employing considerably more people than other given employment sectors. The least common field, by contrast, was farming comparatively trailing behind accounting, computing, and nursing.
In 2001, just under 160,000 people were working in sales in Australia, a number that then rose to slightly over 160,000 by 2008, making it the most preferred type of work throughout the period. Computing experienced a similar increasing trend, from employing around 55,000 people in 2001 to approximately 80,000 by the second given year. In contrast, the employment growth rate in nursing was not as significant as in computing, rising from 50,000 to just under 60,000 within this timeframe.
Conversely, accounting and farming showed a downward trend because of employment growth in the sectors mentioned above. In 2001, accounting employed about 60,000 individuals, which then declined just below its initial figure in 2008. Similarly, farming, which recruited the fewest number, also recorded a drop from just above 20,000 to slightly under the same figure over the period.
The essay is logically organized with clear paragraphing. There is a clear overall summary and the details are presented in a logical order.
Suggestions
- Ensure all comparisons are clearly linked to maintain coherence.
- Add more transitional phrases for smoother flow.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary with some flexibility and precision. There are occasional inaccuracies.
The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with frequent error-free sentences.
The essay effectively addresses the task, providing an overview and supporting details from the chart.
Suggestions
- Include more specific data points to strengthen the analysis.