Some people believe that watching TV is bad for children in every way , while others claim it has positive effects for children as they grow up.Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is a debate between the people that some people think watching is very bad for children while other people claim that when children grow up,this kind of things is very useful for them, especially when it comes to their brain development,this is very effective way.
To begin with positive effects of watching TV.There are so many good implications of watching TV for children in terms of developing brain and thinking critically.Besides,it is very good for their being struggler in the challenging time when someone provoke them as a result of watching some good cartoons on TV which teach to children how to be calmly in every situation of their life.For example,in Uzbekistan, there are so many astoundingly good channels for children which show many inspirational cartoons,and all of them are so helpful guider for children’s life, because children can know what thing is bad or good in pursuit of seeing them.
On the other hand, there are some negative effects of watching TV.Firstly, children waste their time because of seeing cartoon in their whole day,and then distract from doing their hometasks which are given by their teacher in pursuit of their interests for cartoons.Moreover, as a result of not doing their hometasks,their future may be at risk in terms of no knowledgeable people in their life.Besides,there are other multitude of factors why TV is bad effect for children,one of them is eye damage because of looking at screen for a long time.
In conclusion, although some people claim watching has its own positive effects for children,I truly believe that watching TV is a wasting time thing and bad for health of children.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a standard structure, but the introduction could be more engaging. The body paragraphs each discuss a single idea, but the transitions between them could be smoother. The conclusion restates the thesis, but it could be more compelling.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of your writing.
- Make sure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases. The essay uses a variety of vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies. For example, “struggler in the challenging time” could be rephrased as “to help them cope with challenges.” The essay also uses some awkward phrasing that could be simplified. Additionally, the essay would benefit from a wider range of vocabulary to express the nuances of the arguments more effectively.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar, with a variety of sentence structures used effectively. However, there are some grammatical errors that could be addressed. For example, “as a result of not doing their hometasks, their future may be at risk in terms of no knowledgeable people in their life” could be rephrased for clarity. Additionally, the essay would benefit from a more consistent use of articles and prepositions.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both views on the issue. However, the introduction could be more engaging and the thesis could be more clear. The essay provides relevant examples to support the arguments, but the conclusion could be more compelling.
Suggestions
- Make sure to fully develop your arguments and support them with relevant examples.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.