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There is a growing number of older people now. Do benefits outweigh disadvantages?

With the increase in life expectancy, it has been noted that senior people are living longer. Consequently, there is a growing number of elderly people in communities. While this shift has both benefits and drawbacks, I believe that benefits are more significant.
Critics of an increasing number of senior people cite various reasons to support their stance. When there are more senior people in communities, it often causes financial problems such as financial instability, destabilizing the economy of both the community and households within. This not only places heavy financial burdens on governments to allocate more resources for essential services like healthcare and pensions but also strains families who may need to take care of their elderly relatives, further diminishing the economy.This financial insecurity is particularly detrimental to low-income societies where underlying social issues like poverty, limited access to healthcare, and inadequate social support systems are already prevalent, making it harder to handle such challenges of an aging population.
Despite these arguments, in my view, the potential advantages of that transformation carry more weight. In an era characterized by the need for global mobility and cultural heritage, by embracing the rise of senior populations, societies can preserve the cultural traditions and customs that have been passed down for generations due to the wisdom and experience of older individuals. This invaluable knowledge can potentially deepen social bonds and cultural ties, as individuals are likely to prioritize intergenerational connections, thereby fostering greater understanding and unity. For example, in a society where younger generations engage with the experiences of older citizens, cultural practices, stories, and values are easily preserved, ensuring continuity and strengthening a collective identity.
In conclusion, while the trend of more senior people has both ups and downs, I contend that the potential benefits it brings, such as cultural heritage and preservation, take precedence.

7.5

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
  • Ensure that your arguments are fully developed in each paragraph.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments.

Suggestions
  • Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments.