Nowadays eating habits of people around the world are changing, causing them many health problems including obesity. Why do people tend to eat so badly? What can be done to improve their eating habits?

People have altered eating habits these days, and this is causing many health issues like obesity. While this can be attributed to the development of fast food businesses and hectic lifestyle of individuals, the issue can be alleviated through higher taxes on junk food and initiatives to improve the food industry.
The primary reason why people are leading such unhealthy diets is the boom that happened in fast food industry. The last decades saw a sharp growth in popularity of such food among people because of the benefits that it offers to people. As junk food is much cheaper, often more tasty and quick to buy and eat, it has become an important part of most people’s diet despite being harmful.
Another cause of the problem is the fast-pace of life. These days, societies are changing and the pace of life is surging. To catch up with others, people are always in a hurry to do something, which, as a result, leaves no time for individuals to lead proper eating habits. Multiple studies have also found that the reason why people do not lead a healthy diet is that they simply do not have time to do it.
The problem, however, can be mitigated in several ways. First, governments can impose higher taxes on fast food companies. This can result in the increased prices of this kind of food, which may result in the reduced demand for consumption of it. This type of government policies have been successful in several Eropean and some Asian countries, so the right implementation should bring desirable results.
Moreover, the agriculture industries should be developed with sufficient funding and freedom to find the cheaper and more productive ways of growing organic healthy food. Since most of the organically-grown food items in supermarkets are more costly compared to non-organic ones, people nowadays have to consume the latter due to the price advantage. This problem must be solved by the governments or private parties by financing organic farming practices or providing subsidies to producers. This might make people opt for the healthier food items in the supermarket shelves.
In conclusion, people have altered their habits for the worse and this causes some medical problems because the fast food industry has grown globally and the hectic lifestyle of people leaving no time for them to take up healthy eating habits. Nevertheless, the situation can be imporved with the government intervention in the food market and the necessary initiatives to improve agriculture.

8.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that each discuss a different cause of the problem and a solution, and a conclusion that summarizes the main points. You use transition words effectively to guide the reader through your argument (e.g., “First,” “Moreover,” “In conclusion”), contributing to a cohesive and coherent essay. To further improve coherence, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that the ideas within paragraphs are logically ordered and clearly connected to each other and to your overall argument.

Suggestions

Try to use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of ideas.
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. You demonstrate a good command of a range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “obesity,” “fast food,” “hectic lifestyle,” and “organic farming.” Your use of language is clear and effective, with no significant issues. To further enhance your lexical resource, consider incorporating more varied and precise vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and vividly. Additionally, be mindful of word choice to ensure the tone and style of your writing are consistent and appropriate.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication. Your essay displays a good command of a range of grammatical structures, with a variety of sentence types used effectively. The grammar and punctuation in your essay are generally accurate, with only minor errors. To further improve your grammatical range and accuracy, consider incorporating a wider variety of complex sentence structures and ensuring the consistent and correct use of punctuation throughout your essay. Additionally, be mindful of subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles to avoid any grammatical errors that could detract from the overall clarity and quality of your writing.

The essay addresses the task fully and provides a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the reasons for the change in eating habits and the resulting health problems, such as obesity. You provide a clear explanation of the factors contributing to this issue, such as the rise of the fast food industry and the hectic lifestyles of individuals, and you propose practical solutions, such as higher taxes on junk food and initiatives to improve the food industry. Your position is clear and well-supported throughout the essay. To further enhance your task achievement, consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments and make your writing more concrete and persuasive. Additionally, a more detailed exploration of the potential challenges and implications of your proposed solutions could provide a more nuanced and comprehensive response to the prompt.