Some people think that children should be encouraged to participate in team sports, while others believe individual sports are better for their development. Discuss both views and give your opinion
There is an ongoing debate about whether the role of an individual sport is tremendously important compared to team ones. While others truly think that team sports are indispensable part of development of a child. From my perspective, I prefer choosing both sides because an individual sport can mark a shift in children’s growth in terms of mentally due to comprehensive benefits that cannot be neglected. On the other hand, team sports should also be prioritized owing to wide range of advantages that alternative one often lacks.
On the one hand, those who prioritize playing a solo sport can cross brilliant skills, and can shape their mindset significantly and strengthen their physical capability which are tremendous for their future success. The assistant of this kind of sports is massive due to beatable challenges. Players who choose an individual sport promote skills such as self-reliance, resilience and problem solving skills which are often lacked in team sports, adding value to a solo sport type. They mainly practice in training sessions by themselves in solitude, resulting in possessing an unbreakable mindset and being consistent in a distraction-free environment. Solo sports can play a pivotal role in making players discipline no matter how awful they are circumstances are, assisting to maintain their desire to continue their path for an extended period of time. Another worth mentioning point is that work ethic of children who play an individual sport is largely superior than those who practice with team owing to pressure and distractions coming from their counterparts resulting in procrastination.
On the other hand, team sports are also crucial in terms of critical skills that one can learn which are communication and punctuality. Players foster skill of responsibility since this sort of sports do not depend on a person yet grouply that is why being responsible is undeniable quality that every player must have to accomplish their targets. Secondly, they can improve communication skill since they play in a highly social atmosphere with full of people by talking to each other, adding value to group Sports. For example the sport called football, which are played by billions of individuals, has its players who are incredibly active not only in real life but also in social media due to a strong foundation that had been built in their childhood which is being hugely Dynamic and sociable.
In conclusion, both types of sports may bring extensive advantages that hugely impact on their mindset and behavior by fostering skills such as self-esteem and communication.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion that restates your position. Transitions between ideas are generally smooth, aiding the overall coherence. However, the cohesion could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases that reference the benefits of each type of sport more directly to the development of children. Additionally, the conclusion could more clearly summarize the points made and restate the overall stance on the issue.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the key points of your argument.
The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. You demonstrate a good command of vocabulary, with appropriate use of terms related to sports and personal development. The essay features a variety of vocabulary related to the topic, such as “self-reliance,” “resilience,” “problem-solving skills,” and “communication skill.” To further enhance your lexical resource, consider introducing more varied and precise language to describe the benefits of each type of sport and the characteristics they help develop in children.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. Your essay displays a good range of grammatical structures, with a variety of sentence types used effectively. However, there are some grammatical errors that need to be addressed, such as issues with subject-verb agreement, article use, and preposition use. Paying attention to these details can help improve the overall grammatical accuracy of your writing.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. You have addressed the task by discussing both viewpoints on the issue and providing your opinion. You clearly outline the benefits of both types of sports and how they contribute to children’s development. To enhance your response, consider providing more specific examples to support your points and ensure that your opinion is clearly differentiated from the discussion of the two viewpoints.
Suggestions
- Consider providing more specific examples to support your points.
- Ensure that your opinion is clearly differentiated from the discussion of the two viewpoints.