Some people think that schools should teach students to become good citizens and workers, rather than focusing on academic subjects. To what extent Do you agree or disagree?
Education is an indispensable part of any society, playing a pivotal role to educate students as a mature human being. There is an ongoing debate about weather schools should prioritize focusing on character development and practical skills. While some truly believe that it’s assistance in fostering academic knowledge of a citizen is tremendously important, being the main job of schools. From my perspective, combination of both approaches can work the best instead of focusing solely on one aspect.
On the one hand, academic subjects such as math, science and literature are the foundation of intellectual growth. The subjects are the ones, helping to improve critical skills being critical thinking and problem solving that are larger important for their future success since these subjects equip students with valuable qualities and brilliant skills, adding value to academic side of schools. By educating young Generations, governments might be largely benefited because their potential to improve and make their own country popular is vast due to a strong foundation of academic-based knowledge, serving as an incredible weapon to be successful not only internationally but also worldwide.
On the other hand, the role of soft skills is essential to make students an ideal citizen that have specific qualities, being work ethic communication and punctuality, preparing them to contribute positively to society. For example, organizing social activities such as environment conservation and clean up activities assists young residents to realize importance of collective work. This cab massively prevent them from being isolated and introverted,resulting in serving as a big obstacle for them from losing skills like communication and teamwork.
In conclusion, also academic side of schools bring comprehensive benefits that cannot be neglected, but the assistance of schools in shaping one’s skills to contribute significantly to society is an integral part of education.
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Ensure that your conclusion fully summarizes the main points of your essay.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more precise and varied vocabulary could enhance the essay.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds variety and interest. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more complex grammatical structures could enhance the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places. The essay effectively addresses the topic by discussing the importance of both character development and practical skills in schools. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the argument could be more fully developed in places, and the essay could benefit from a more explicit statement of the thesis in the introduction and a more comprehensive conclusion.
Suggestions
- Ensure that you fully develop your argument and provide sufficient support for your points.
- Consider providing a more explicit statement of your thesis in the introduction and a more comprehensive conclusion.