Some people think that advertising encourages us to buy things we do not need. Others believe that advertisements inform us about new products that may improve our lives. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many think that advertising encourage the customers to purchase things they do not need while some people believe that the adverstisements give information about the products that can influence people lives. I believe that advertisements are informative about the products which make better people lives such as laptop, mobile phones and cooker. On the other hand , some campaigns missisue advertising for making money and they show their vulnerable , worse products such as gadgets , headphones , earphones and other things.
In the modern era, the internet makes our lives easy by accessing to the platforms like Instagram , You tube ,so, many businessman use social media as advertising to sell their products . Furthermore , they employ bloggers and celebrities ,who are popular among people, to display their products .Popular bloggers and celebrities have strong impact on their fans and their fans always try pretend themselves like celebrities , after watching advertisement ,which their favourite celebrities play role in, they purchase things they do not need such as parfume, dress , shampoo and food . In that case , those celebrities do barely know about that products and may be they never use this things. All things about making money and entrepreneurs always target celebrities’ fans. For example , Cristiano Reanaldo played role in advertisement by displaying “Clear ‘’ shampoo as his favourite shampoo .
On the another hand , some advertisements are really usefull for human lives and their makers always share their custumers’ results with the people like pills which are very usefull for human heath . Moreover, advertisements about air condition itimes in the summer are informative for people , then people can choose the best air condition by watching advertisements about air condition items. For example , many businessmen display their drugs with the advertisements and they share changes in their customers health.
In conclusion, generally advertisements are very usefull for people lives by displaying items and products which really can improve their lifestyle but some businessmen missisue advertisement for only being rich.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your ideas in each paragraph and connect them back to the main point of the essay.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the conclusion could use more formal language to better fit the essay’s academic tone.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these do not detract from the overall clarity of the writing. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and the majority of sentences are free from grammatical errors. However, there are a few instances of incorrect verb forms and subject-verb agreement, which can detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the conclusion could be rephrased to be more grammatically accurate and formal.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the ways in which advertising can be both beneficial and harmful, as well as a more thorough discussion of the implications of these practices for consumers and society. Additionally, the conclusion could be strengthened by providing a more definitive statement of the essay’s main points.
Suggestions
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point and is well supported with specific examples.