Some people believe that children that commit crimes should be punished. Others think the parents should be punished instead. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is highly debatable whether a child who commits a crime should be punished or not. While some individuals assert that their parents are responsible for their child’s mistake and are blamed. As far as i believe that every child should learn to become resposible for their life from a young age.
On the one hand, it is an irrefutable fact that parents are partly factors of their offspring’s error. The reason is that children have a tendency to copy everything and each behavior from adults,so provided that a parent or any adult shows them any bad behavior such as robbery or violance they attempt to do it unconciously. Moreover, as soon as parents notice any change in their actions or see small crimes at home, children must be premanded or punished by them. For this reason, a child is seen too young to comprehend his error, parents are regarded as a teacher and prevention of future-crimes.
Nevertheless, I contend that children who did severe crimes ought to be punished. Because if a child did not learn to pay for his mistake himself and made a conclusion, he would keep doing it without stopping. Furthermore, it is fact that some punishments might have a bad infuence on children psychology, to cite an example they might have a sense of fear or anxiety,angry. It is supported that children must be punished based on their crimes so as to prevent that condition. Children learn to make difference between right and wrong from mistakes and understand what they did in childhood and this will minimize the increase of crimes’ possibility.
To summurize, while it is believed that parent must be aware of their child’s error and paid for it by pu ishing, i am in opinion of that a child should understand his mistake was terrible and be got a pu ishment on time.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and clearly stating the writer’s opinion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your opinion.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence structure. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence structure that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the topic by discussing both views and providing the writer’s opinion. However, the argument could be more fully developed, and the essay could provide more specific examples to support the points made.
Suggestions
- Provide more specific examples to support your points.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single idea or argument.