Some people think that the best way to increase the quality of education is to increase teachers' salaries. Others believe that it is more important to improve the school facilities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In our modern world, some people think that the best way to increase the quality of education is to increase teachers’ salaries. Others trust that it is more beneficial to improve the school facilities. I personally believe that view is absolutely important for teachers and students.
From my perspective, if the government increases teachers’ salaries afterward, teachers may be taught high-quality, and teachers will be happy. In addition, some of the students want to learn high-quality at school. However, some of the teachers don’t teach at a high quality. When the government should pay high salary for teachers. So students will take a good profession. I might add this way to help students for the future, and undergraduates don’t suffer from international exams.
on the other hand, many people trust that it is more important to improve the school facilities because school facilities can help to learn new skills and many beneficials subjects for example history, geography, math and other subject if government should be improved school facilities and set a large manitor and give anthology. In addition, some psychologists said school facilities are more and more important for students mentality pupils are grown high school facilities and their thinking and knowledge can help to your works and future in fact 70% peoples are achieving good works because they learn at good school facilities and 30 percent pupils are achieving high quality works because they study at normal school. In contrast, high-quality schools are absolutely great.
In conclusion, both views are more important if people use these things in the right ways. I believe this work can help to educate if these works apply.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes awkward, affecting readability. Additionally, the connection between some ideas within paragraphs could be strengthened for better cohesion.
Suggestions
- Try to use a variety of cohesive devices appropriately to ensure smooth transitions between ideas.
- Make sure that the connection between ideas within paragraphs is clear and logical.
The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of an attempt to use less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “quality of education,” “teachers’ salaries,” and “school facilities.” However, there are instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the language. Additionally, the use of more precise and varied vocabulary could enhance the essay.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there is a range of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that can cause some difficulty for the reader. The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that hinder clarity, such as issues with subject-verb agreement, article use, and sentence construction. Proofreading to correct these errors is recommended. Additionally, the essay could benefit from a wider range of grammatical structures to express complex ideas more effectively.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing two viewpoints on how to improve the quality of education: increasing teachers’ salaries and improving school facilities. However, the argument is not well-developed, and the essay lacks specific examples to support the claims made. The conclusion is also somewhat vague and could be more clearly articulated.
Suggestions
- Try to develop your argument more fully and support it with specific examples.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear focus and is well-developed.