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Financial education should be included as a mandatory subject in schools to prepare students for managing money effectively. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In this rapidly evolving world, the importance of having a good command of financial education has been more important than ever before. Even it is argued by most people that this crucial subject should be included and made mandatory at schools. It is completely agreed that including financial education in other fields and making it mandatory is necessary at schools. Analyzing both the ever-increasing importance of this subject as well as today’s many youngsters who may struggle to manage money effectively will show this.
Firstly, it cannot be denied that being able to manage money effectively is a good skill to have in our society, which is based mainly on money. For example, in addition to creating individuals who are able to manage their money efficiently, teaching young students how to effectively manage their money from their primary school would let them save it for more important purposes. Moreover, having many young people who are aware of the importance of money and effective management of cash would most probably create more rich citizens, reducing the poverty in many places. Therefore, this can be plain that teaching financial education at schools as a mandatory subject should be supported.
Secondly, it is also true that not only some youngsters but also some adults are nowadays struggling to manage their money in an effective manner in some parts of the countries, as a result of which most of them may end up wasting their money on some unnecessary things. For instance, some young people spend their money either on unhealthy food or on entertainment, and that is why educating residents to use money efficiently from their school age would allow them to be more aware of the dangers of their activities. Furthermore, teaching financial education at schools will not only let some students who decide to continue their studies in finance-related majors be able to build the important foundation, but also benefit others who decide to pursue other majors, as the knowledge of money is a good skill to have. Therefore, these can make it clear why the government officials of some countries should add this subject to other compulsory areas of study.
In conclusion, both the significance of finance in every individual’s life and the case of many who still struggle with their money can make it evident that youngsters should learn this subject at school. After analyzing this subject matter, it is popularly speculated that the young generation will be more aware of effective money management in the following few years.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions
  • Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary related to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more specific examples could enhance the argument.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and is generally grammatically accurate. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction that could be revised for clarity.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The essay effectively addresses the topic by discussing the importance of financial education and arguing for its inclusion as a mandatory subject in schools. The writer presents a clear position and supports it with relevant examples. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples and by addressing potential counterarguments.

Suggestions
  • Provide more specific examples to support your arguments.
  • Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.