Nowadays more people think that studying at university or college is the best way to a successful career but other people have different opinion this view. They believe that people study at school then they must getting start a job.
Nowadays more people think that studying at university or college is the best way to a successful career but other people have different opinion this view. They believe that people study at school then they must getting start a job. These views are better.
On the one hand, universities have a very important role in providing knowledge and helping develop skills. Besides some people still pay money for take certificate because it can be increase earn money for job. Moreover, when entering a famous university. The chances of entering a big company are increasing and also we must collect experience for a higher position.
On the other hand, other people have own views. Especially, the idea is students should work after graduating from school is that these people will help their parents, earn and bring money to the family. And also they believe that learn faster many items and subjects. Because of having plenty of the best teachers at school so they teach new information.
In conclusion more people think that studying at university growth sucessful career and others believe learn at school then earn money for family
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes awkward or incorrect, affecting the overall coherence. Additionally, the connection between some ideas within paragraphs could be strengthened. More varied transitional phrases could help guide the reader through the essay and improve overall cohesion.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your points in each paragraph.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “successful career,” “develop skills,” and “earn money.” However, there are instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the language use. Additionally, the use of more specific and varied vocabulary could help to better articulate the nuances of each argument.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay features a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that affect the overall clarity and readability of the essay. Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, particularly with subject-verb agreement and sentence construction, could help to improve the overall quality of the writing. Additionally, proofreading for spelling errors is recommended.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing two different viewpoints on the value of university education for a successful career. However, the arguments presented are somewhat repetitive and could be further developed to provide a more nuanced understanding of each perspective. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points discussed.
Suggestions
- Include more specific examples to support your arguments.
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point.