In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work, and communicate with people via the Internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development?
In today’s digital world, it has become increasingly accessible to complete our everyday tasks, such as grocery shopping, working, or interacting with others, due to the prevalence of the Internet without the need to engage in real-life connections. While this shift has both benefits and drawbacks, I believe it does more harm than good.
Proponents of carrying out daily tasks online cite various reasons to support their stance. When people handle their everyday activities through the Internet, it grants consumers easy access to services and resources or even virtual appointments from the comfort of their homes, saving significant time and effort.This not only allows individuals to avoid typical physical challenges such as traffic, long queues, and limited working hours, but also enhances productivity by enabling online platform users to complete their tasks at any time that suits them, further improving the overall quality of life. This convenience is particularly appealing to productivity addicts, who actively seek out different ways to do more in shorter periods of time in the hope of achieving more.
Despite these arguments, in my view, the potential drawbacks of this transformation carry more weight. In an era characterized by the need for global mobility, by relying heavily on the Internet to juggle essential necessities like communicating with loved ones, individuals find themselves trapped in a vicious cycle of digital dependency and social isolation due to the lack of in-person relationships. This overreliance on virtual interactions can potentially weaken social bonds and cultural ties, as individuals are likely to prioritize convenience over meaningful engagements, thereby neglecting opportunities for shared experiences and community-building. For example, in a world where communities already grapple with underlying social issues such as inequality and injustice, the erosion of meaningful relationships within the society can further intensify the adverse effects of such issues.
In conclusion, while the wide accessibility brought by the Internet provides convenience, I contend that its negative consequences on the essential social relationships take precedence.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
- Ensure that your examples are fully developed and clearly support your argument.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.
The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.
The essay addresses the task effectively and provides a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the introduction could be improved to better introduce the topic and the writer’s position.
Suggestions
- Consider rephrasing the introduction to make the topic and your position more clear.