Inventors are not as important to society as doctors
..It has been suggest that inventors less crucial than doctors to society. I disagree with this view, for I believe that there are both occupations equally the important for society.
On the one hand, doctors more crucial for people live .They are provide save lives directly through treatment and prevented of diseases. Besides, they detect diagnose and treat disease in a sick person with the necessary drugs, especially today ,the rate of illness in children and the elderly is increasing. In such situation, doctors always help them. It is also worth mention that in the previous years and few years ago during the epidemic of plague among people , doctors have been constantly helped people. In addition, doctors teach the members of community about sanitation , for example , doctors visit almost all school and give more information to students, which is biggest factor in helping to prevent deseases.
On the other hand, I think that inventors play significance role in society , just like doctors. Firstly, inventors never stop investing devices that are important society and people live. For example, new types of computers and smartphones are being invented every day. Secondly, many aspects of modern life, from transportation and communication to energy and education, rely on inventions. Inventors have laid the groundwork for numerous industries and innovations that shape the world.
In conclusion, I do not agree with the idea that inventors do not play a big role in community, while I think that doctors and inventors are equally crucial for people live .
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a logical structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes inaccurate or missing, making the connection between ideas less smooth. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the main points and clearly state your position.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of a flexible use of vocabulary. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases that could be improved. The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, with some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity and accuracy.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there is a good range of structures. However, there are some grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be improved. The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that can hinder clarity. In addition, there are some issues with verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and the use of articles. These errors should be addressed to improve the overall quality of the writing.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the ways in which both doctors and inventors contribute to society, as well as a more thorough discussion of potential counterarguments.
Suggestions
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point and is well-supported with specific examples.