Sevinch
The two maps illustrate the development of Shalton Village over a century, starting from 1910, albeit with some loss of natural habitat. Overall, the area transformed from a somewhat small rural outskirt into a more residential zone, marked by expansion of houses. Of particular note is the erection of commercial areas, at the expense of some older features.
Prior to being changed, the area had few commercialized zones, including a grocer and a baker lied along High Street Road, which stretched from east to west. Residential housing was sparse, and green areas occupied a significant proportion of the village. A butcher and a school were situated along School Road, while a post office was located further north at the T-junction of London Road.
By 2010, the village had undergone a complete makeover. Probably the most notable change was the demolition of the butcher’s shop to make way for a supermarket and a parking lot for convenient access. Additionally, a large house, a bank, and a green zone were knocked down to make room for a wide range of modernized residential houses. However, the post office in the north and the school in the southwest corner remained completely unchanged.
The essay is generally well-organized, with a clear progression of ideas. The comparison between the two maps is effectively structured, although some transitions could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more cohesive devices to link ideas.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.
- Improve transitions between paragraphs.
The vocabulary is varied and generally appropriate, with some advanced terms used effectively. However, there are a few instances of less precise word choices.
The essay demonstrates a good command of grammar with varied sentence structures. There are minor errors, but they do not impede understanding.
The essay effectively addresses the task, providing a clear comparison of the maps and highlighting key changes. Some details could be expanded for a more comprehensive analysis.
Suggestions
- Include more details about the changes in residential areas.
- Discuss the impact of new developments on the village.
- Provide more specific examples from the maps.