Extreme sports such as sky diving and skiing are very dangerous and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?
At the present time, many people think sports, which dangerous for poeple life, are stopping and people don’t use this sports. However, I strongly disagree this statement because people should be enjoy their lifespan.
To begin with, extreme sports may be danger for people life, for instance, if people don’t stop train this activities, they will be face harm and it allows to creating health problems. Nowadays, this sports are sharply increasing at teenagers and it caused to a lot of trouble therefore people must be banned extreme sports. For example last month my cousin went to beach, and he train sky diving sport, it can be contribute broken his hand.
On the another hand, people want to enjoy their life and they do everything, which they only interested it,
for their incredible memories and it allows to overcome their emotions problems, or frightening. One of the benefits of extreme sports is that, the health problems might be to teared to pieces by sky diving, skiing. For example my son have scared everything and I have understood stop this happen, so I have decided give my son extreme sports course and aftermath my son would be strong and dire person.
In conclusion, nowadays extreme sports are increasing and some people think we should be banned it. However, I completely disagree with the idea that these sports are too dangerous, and I therefore believe that they should not be banned.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay follows a basic structure, but the use of cohesive devices is sometimes awkward or incorrect, affecting the overall coherence. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the key points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure to fully develop your conclusion to effectively summarize the key points and reiterate your stance.
The essay uses a sufficient range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. The essay demonstrates a reasonable range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choices, which can affect the overall clarity and effectiveness of the essay. Additionally, the use of more formal language could be improved.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, and there are some errors in grammar, punctuation, and spelling. However, these errors do not generally impede communication. The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, and there are some grammatical errors that can affect the overall clarity and readability. Punctuation and spelling are also not always used accurately. Proofreading is recommended to ensure that these errors are identified and corrected.
The essay addresses the task and presents a clear position throughout the response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear personal stance. However, the development of the argument could be more fully supported with specific examples. The essay could benefit from a more structured approach, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the key points and reiterating the stance.
Suggestions
- Ensure that each paragraph fully develops a single point and is well supported with specific examples.
- Consider reorganizing the essay to have a more clear and concise structure, with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.