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Some people believe that public health can be improved by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others think this would have little effect and that other measures are needed to improve public health. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

With the advancements in technology and busy schedules, it has become increasingly difficult for individuals to maintain a healthy lifestyle, especially in Western communities where people tend to prioritize their work over health. In this regard, people are divided as to whether the creation of more sports facilities help them stay healthy or this is not of great importance and therefore other ways in improving health should be considered. Considering that health can be improved in a wide range of ways, i view both perspectives as equally reasonable.
Proponents of increasing the number of sports facilities to ensure better public health cite various reasons to support their stance. In today’s technology-driven world, people of all ages rely heavily on their gadgets when it comes to entertainment. This is often caused by lack of sports facilities like gyms, pitches for football and basketball, and public parks nearby. Once they are created, more and more individuals can be encouraged to engage in regular physical activities such as playing football, running, walking and swimming, allowing them to boost their immune systems and and maintain a healthy weight. This not only ensures that they have a good health, but also gives them a chance for social interaction. This is especially true for those who stick to a strict schedule of working or studying 9-to-5, as their participation in sports activities serves as a stress relief and emotional regulation, improving their overall well-being and helping them lead a more fulfilling and happier life.
While focusing attention on sports facilities is one way to improve public health being, healthy diet and sleep are of equal importance. In a world where processed and fast food products, alongside with sugary drinks dominate the food landscape due to their wider availability and affordable costs , it comes as not surprise that many people, especially those leading hectic lifestyles, are drawn to consume them instead of cooking nutritious meals at home. In this case, health-awareness rising campaigns can be employed to alert them to the dangers of having such an unhealthy diet and encourage them to have healthy eating habits; the consumption of foods rich in nutrients, including fruits and vegetables. The same endeavor can be done for sleep, as many people do not have a recommended sleeping routine; they do not get sufficient sleep. As a result, diverse psychological problems can arise; however, if these individuals follow right sleeping patterns, they can enjoy greater both mental and physical well-being. This is because the recommended amount of sleep not only helps them overcome fatigue, but also improve cognitive functions.
In conclusion, the establishment of a wider range of sports amenities plays a crucial role in improving overall public well-being, as people gain the opportunities to become both socially and physically active. This is one of many measures to maintain health since roles of a well-balanced diet and sleep are equally powerful in effect. Therefore, it is important to make sure that people are aware of the importance of taking part in physical activities, eating healthy and getting the right amount of sleep.

8.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
  • Ensure that your ideas flow smoothly from one to the next.

The essay demonstrates a good command of a broad lexical repertoire. A variety of vocabulary is used, including less common and idiomatic expressions. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. The majority of sentences are error-free. However, there are a few minor errors that could be addressed.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. Both sides of the argument are discussed in a balanced way, and the writer’s opinion is clearly stated. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments. Also, the essay is too long. You should learn to write more concisely.

Suggestions
  • Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your writing more concrete and persuasive.