the plans below show the south wing of Walton museum in 2008 and 2012.
The two maps illustrate the transformation of South Wing of Waltom Museum between 2008 and 2012. Overall, although some of the components remain unchanged, many former facilities were reconstructed, making it more visitor-friendly museum.
In 2008, the museum included less amenities for its visitors. There was a path, starting from south-west, leading to the entrance, to right to which there was a reception and reading room. To the southern side of the layout, gallery, shop stairs and cloak room were situated.
After the reconstructions, the map had undergone remarkable changes to facilitate the building for visitors. While the area still remained entrance, gallery and shop at their former places, several amenities were introduced. These additions include terrace, restaurant, exhibition room and self-service café at the northern part. Also, cloak room made the way to children’s play area so that adults can enjoy their visit without worrying about the children, and stairs were replaced by lift.
The essay presents information in a logical order but lacks clear linking phrases and transitions between ideas.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to connect ideas.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea.
- Improve transitions between sentences.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary, but some word choices are inaccurate or repetitive.
The essay demonstrates a fair range of grammatical structures but contains some errors.
The essay addresses the task by summarizing the main changes but lacks detailed comparison.
Suggestions
- Include more detailed comparisons between the two years.
- Highlight significant changes with specific examples.