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In some countries, young people have become richer, healthier, and can benefit from more safety, but they are less happy. What are the causes? What can be done to address this situation?

In many developed nations, young people enjoy unprecedented wealth, health, and safety. However, paradoxically, their happiness levels have declined over the years. This is mainly because of the phenomenon, such as materialism and burnout; however, it can be tackled by promoting work-life balance and encouraging social connections.
One major reason for young people’s unhappiness is their excessive focus on materialism. In a consumer-driven society, the importance of wealth and possessions often overshadows the importance of relationships and personal well-being. For example, young professionals may spend countless hours working in high-stress environments to afford luxury items, such as cars or fancy clothing. While these material possessions provide temporary satisfaction, they do not contribute to long-term happiness. This single-minded focus on financial success often isolates individuals from their family and friends, leaving them emotionally unfulfilled.
Another contributing factor is burnout, which stems from a hectic and demanding lifestyle. Many young people are overworked, treating themselves like robots programmed to achieve professional goals at any cost. For instance, in countries with competitive job markets, individuals frequently work overtime to meet deadlines or gain promotions, neglecting their physical and mental health. This imbalance creates stress and exhaustion, which further ruins their social and emotional well-being. As a result, they are left feeling empty and disconnected despite their financial achievements.
To address these issues, one effective solution is to implement policies that promote work-life balance. Governments and organizations can enforce strict work hours and encourage flexible working arrangements, such as remote work or a four-day workweek. For example, nations that have adopted shorter workweeks have reported increased happiness among employees due to reduced stress and more time for personal activities. Such measures can help young people allocate time for leisure, hobbies, and quality interactions with loved ones, improving their overall well-being. Additionally, fostering social connections through public campaigns can significantly enhance happiness levels. Television and internet programs could highlight the benefits of spending time with family and friends. For instance, organizing events like neighborhood sports competitions or cultural festivals could encourage young people to build stronger relationships and create a sense of belonging. Engaging in these activities would allow individuals to feel more connected to their community.
In conclusion, the unhappiness of young people in certain countries can be attributed to materialism and burnout, both of which prevent their emotional well-being. To mitigate this issue, governments and societies should promote work-life balance and encourage meaningful social interactions. By prioritizing these aspects over material success, young people can lead happier, more fulfilling lives.

8.5

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are clearly structured. Transitions between ideas are smooth and effective.

Suggestions
  • Consider using a wider range of linking words or phrases to show more sophisticated relationships between ideas.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. The vocabulary is used appropriately and accurately. There are a few instances of repetition, but this does not detract from the overall quality of the writing.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. The majority of sentences are error-free, and there is only occasional use of a subordinate clause.

The essay addresses all parts of the task. It provides a clear and well-developed response to the question. The essay provides relevant, extended and supported ideas.

Suggestions
  • Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines the main idea to improve the overall clarity and coherence of the essay.