The most important aim of science should be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is believed that the main priority of science should offer a better life to humans. While I believe humans should take advantage of technology, I also believe other living beings have the same rights as we do.
On one hand, people want to enjoy all the greatness in life which a new era of science could offer, and I believe it is not as bad as it sounds. New innovations should be created to comfort the people of earth as they please. Because of these inventions, which scientists created for us, we live comfortably, reach places easily, and learn effectively. For example, education has never been given to so many as it does today. All these are because of new ways of learning like online platforms – Duolingo or Youtube. These comforts are there for us to lead a better life that any human kind did.
On the other hand, science’s sole responsibility is not only to improve the lives of people, but also to make animals’ lives better that live in the same ecosystem with us. Some species are suffering or even dying from our exploitation of resources, which we used to live comfortably. We should also give science a way to help these animals subjected to live in harsh conditions. For instance, with help of new biological ways of bringing back species like Siberian tigers, or science also could help with climate change and polar bears which are at the edge of extinction could be saved. It would be fair for these living beings to be given to live properly in these unlivable environments that we made.
In conclusion, while I believe we should use science for our own good, I also believe it is not right that all the remaining species should suffer or go to extinction just because of not being able to have access to technologies, which could help them to better their lives.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions

Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
Use a wider range of linking words to connect ideas more effectively.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more specific examples could enhance the overall quality of the writing.

The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures, which adds variety and interest to the writing. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions that could be revised for clarity. Additionally, the use of more specific examples could enhance the overall quality of the writing.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported with specific examples. The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position and supporting it with relevant examples. However, the conclusion could be more comprehensive and could reiterate the main points more clearly. Additionally, the use of more specific examples could enhance the overall quality of the writing.