The chart shows the results of surveys in one African country asking teenagers the main reasons for using their phones between 2016 and 2019.
The pie chart presents information on the device’s usage to watch television by from 18 to 25 age groups of people in Canada in the period of 7 years.
In general, although the proportion of people using conventional tv was the largest segment of the chart in the initial year, the share of flat-screen tv users surpassed the other usages of tv devices in the shown 9 period of time.
Turning to the specifics, it appears that the majority of users in 2009 preferred conventional tvs with 34%. In the meantime watching television through desktop computers was the highest second preferred device as the conventional tvs with almost half of the percentage of users of former large preferable devices (18%). By 2019, the use of conventional tvs had decreased by far the least 4% usage device, while there was a slight decrease in desktop computers usage by 6%.
In comparison, in 2019 a significant percentage of users switched to mobile phones by 9% . There was a substantial increase in flat-screen tv usage from 8% to 27% over the period of ten years. A minority of users preferred using tablets 5% in 2009, whereas after ten years, the distribution of tablets usage saw considerable growth by 14 %.
The essay is logically organized and presents a clear overview of the information. However, there are some issues with the flow of information and the use of cohesive devices.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow of information.
- Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic and that all sentences in the paragraph relate to this topic.
The essay uses a range of vocabulary and there is some evidence of an attempt to use more complex language. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases that affect the clarity of the writing.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there is some attempt to use a range of grammatical structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that affect the overall accuracy of the writing.
The essay provides an overview of the information presented in the chart and makes some comparisons where relevant. However, the essay could be improved by providing more detailed explanations and by making more specific comparisons.
Suggestions
- Try to provide more detailed explanations and make more specific comparisons.
- Consider discussing the reasons for the changes in the data over time.