Many people believe that good planning is the key factor to success in life, while others believe that other factors like hard work or luck are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There is debate over what contributes most to success in life. Some argue that planning ahead is the main factor, while others consider hard work and luck as important in achieving success in life. I personally believe that a person who wants to be successful needs a combination of those factors.
On the one hand, planning offers significant benefits in becoming successful. If we consider our success to be on the other side of the forest which is full of obstacles, hardships and distraction, wise planning acts as a guide for us, helping us stay on track, without getting distracted or forgetting our goals. Moreover, it is believed that a person who writes down their plans is more likely to achieve success. Because, these written plans always remind us of our priorities, urging us to focus on them rather than unimportant things.
On the other hand, other factors such as hard work and an element of luck are believed to play an instrumental role in achieving success. This is because, if a person works hard on themselves, hones their skills, improves their weaknesses and masters new skills, all the effort that they put in ensures success in life. As the saying goes, hard work always pays off. For example, Ilon Musk, who is one of the most successful entrepreneurs of the current century, said in one of his interviews that he was working so hard and long that he had only 3-4 hours left for sleep. He ascribed all his achievements to his hard work. Another important factor is luck. Sometimes, regardless of how much effort you put in, if you are not a lucky person, things may not go as planned.
In conclusion, while people debate over whether hard work is the key factor or clever planning, I believe that a single factor may not guarantee success but mixture of them can.

7.5

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs for each viewpoint, and a conclusion that restates your position. You use transition words effectively to guide the reader through your argument (e.g., “On the one hand,” “Moreover,” “In conclusion”). To improve cohesion, consider more explicitly linking the two main bodies by referencing how planning and hard work/luck can complement each other in the success process.

Suggestions

Try to use a wider range of linking words to improve the flow of ideas.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. You demonstrate a good command of vocabulary, with terms relevant to the topic such as “planning,” “success,” “hard work,” and “luck.” Your use of language is clear and effective, contributing to a thorough discussion of the topic. To further enhance your lexical resource, consider introducing more varied expressions and idiomatic language to discuss the concept of success and the role of effort and chance in achieving it.

The essay shows a good control of a range of grammatical structures, with only minor errors. However, there are a few sentences that could be rephrased for clarity. The essay showcases a variety of grammatical structures with a high level of accuracy. Complex sentence forms are used effectively to convey nuanced ideas. Minor improvements could be made in the consistency of verb tense and in the clarity of complex sentences. Proofreading to ensure that verb tenses are consistently and appropriately used would enhance the overall quality of the writing.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. Both sides of the argument are discussed in detail and the writer’s opinion is clearly stated. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific examples to support the arguments. You have addressed the task by discussing both viewpoints on the issue and providing your opinion. You offer a clear introduction that outlines the debate, followed by a discussion of the benefits of planning and the role of hard work and luck in achieving success. Your conclusion effectively summarizes your view that a combination of factors is necessary for success. To further enhance your response, consider providing more specific examples to support your arguments, such as particular instances where planning or hard work has led to success, or where luck has played a significant role.