Skip to main content

The table below shows the percentage of men and women employed in four different types of industries in one town in 1990, 2000, and 2010.

The table compares the proportion of males and females employed in four different industries in a particular town between 1990 and 2010. Overall, while the percentage of both men and women working in the manufacturing sector declined significantly over the period, the reverse is true for the healthcare industry. The reverse trends were observed in the share of males and females engaged in the tourism sector. Notably, the percentage of males working in retailing remained unchanged.
As for males, most of them were employed in manufacturing over the period. In 1990, the share of males working in the manufacturing sector was 30%, a figure then that declined to only 10% in 2010. While the percentage of males working in the tourism industry witnessed a slight decrease from 13 to 10, the men employed in the healthcare sector showed a reverse trend, growing from 7% to 9%. Surprisingly, the proportion of males in retailing remained unchanged at 13%.
Regarding the female workers, tourism was the most common employment preference for them during the whole period. The proportion of women in the tourism industry rose from 23% in 1990 to 27% in 2010. Both retailing and healthcare sectors experienced a moderate rise in the number of female work force, from 7% to 9% and from 9% to 15%, respectively. After rising minimally in 2000, the share of women employed in manufacturing dropped noticeably to merely 3% in the final year.

7.5

The essay is logically organized and presents information in a clear manner. However, some transitions could be smoother.

Suggestions
  • Use more cohesive devices to link ideas.
  • Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
  • Clarify the comparison between male and female employment trends.

The vocabulary is appropriate and varied, though some expressions could be more precise.

The essay demonstrates a good range of grammatical structures with few errors.

The essay effectively covers the main trends and provides relevant data to support the analysis.

Suggestions
  • Include more detailed comparisons between male and female employment.
  • Ensure all trends are clearly explained and supported with data.