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Topic: Share of income earned by top 1 percent, 1975-2015

The line graph illustrates the data on the proportion of revenue earned by the top 1 percent of public earners over a four-decade period starting from 1975 in seven countries.
From an overall perspective, it is readily apparent that, except for the UK and Germany, all countries’ affluent parts’ income was recorded from the beginning of the period (1975). It is notable that every country indicated an upward trend, with Italy, Japan, and France increasing less significantly compared to others. Additionally, the US had the richest layer, while the lowest income belonged to France.
Focusing on Germany, its share underwent wild fluctuations over the period by 2007, from 10% to 4% more; however, this share was not maintained. Although Canada started at approximately 9%, the highest proportion in 1975, the US overtook it, doubling from 8% to 18% when Canada reached around 14%. In 1990, the UK joined the top poll and saw a significant increase from 10% to over 15% before plunging by 2%.
As for the rest of the countries, they experienced mild fluctuations and followed almost similar patterns. They reached nearly 9%, starting at over and under 7%, which meant that there was no big difference in the salaries of the poor and rich in those countries.

6.5

The essay generally follows a logical structure but lacks clear topic sentences and transitions between ideas.

Suggestions
  • Use clear topic sentences for each paragraph.
  • Improve transitions between ideas.
  • Summarize key trends more effectively.

The vocabulary is appropriate, but there is some repetition and lack of variety.

The essay contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.

The essay addresses the task but lacks some detail and clarity in describing trends.

Suggestions
  • Provide more specific data points.
  • Clarify the main trends more explicitly.