The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable for people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?
Around the world there are a lot of cities and towns built in previous centuries that are less suitable and livable for people living now than they were in the past. While those constructions create safety problems and limitations in modern technological facilities, this can be attributed by modernization and installation of safety systems and up-to-date technologies.
Constructions which were built centuries ago can be more dangerous than modern ones. Since everything evolves, so does the quality of constructions. That is, old buildings are more vulnerable to natural disasters because of their quality than the ones built recently. Take earthquake as an example when there is an analogy between modern and old ones it is obvious that old ones easily get destroyed than modern one by earthquake. Aside from that, lacking new technological facilities is another issue. As technological advancements, these days, are one of the crucial things in our lives, it is difficult to live in a house without them.
The situation can be changed for the better by upgrading the building and installing safety systems and modern technologies. Firstly, upgrading the infrastructure of the house is the first thing in the to-do list. By modifying the structure, it is easy to make it far better in quality and resistant to some natural disasters. Since the building process uses different and strong materials, it might be far more resistant. Secondly, Installation of safety systems is another thing which contributes to constructions to be better. That is, installing smart security systems with cameras, motion sensors, and alarms help people to be more aware of their surroundings. Also, having technologies for communication can be advantageous when people live in remote places.
All in all, old constructions can create problems – safety and limitations of technology. The solutions would lie in upgrading the infrastructure and installation of up-to-date technologies.
The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Make sure that your arguments are presented in a clear and logical order.
The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “Constructions which were built centuries ago can be more dangerous than modern ones” could be rephrased as “Buildings constructed centuries ago may pose greater danger than modern ones.” Improving lexical precision and variety will enhance the clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring correct spelling and grammar usage will improve overall readability.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect sentence construction. The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. These include issues with punctuation, subject-verb agreement, and sentence structure. For example, “Constructions which were built centuries ago can be more dangerous and modern ones can be far more resistant” should be “Buildings which were built centuries ago can be more dangerous, while modern ones can be far more resistant.” Paying closer attention to grammatical accuracy, including correct verb forms and preposition usage, will improve the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the problems caused by outdated constructions and suggesting solutions. The writer presents a clear explanation of how outdated buildings can pose safety issues and limitations in terms of technology, and how these can be addressed by upgrading infrastructure and installing modern technologies. The argument is well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the reasons behind these solutions and the potential challenges in implementing them. Additionally, the conclusion could be more comprehensive in summarizing the main points discussed.
Suggestions
- Make sure to fully develop your arguments and provide specific examples to support your points.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to provide a more balanced view.