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Some people think the qualities a person needs to become successful in today’s world cannot be learned at a university or similar academic institutions. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that university knowledge is not effective enough to achieve success. While other factors, such as creativity and personal experience, are quite crucial, universities provide deep knowledge in particular spheres, which is important in finding high-paid jobs. Additionally, I do not agree with this statement and believe that universities also give access to networking opportunities with other high-minded people.
Universities are mostly based on teaching theories. Meanwhile, factors such as creativity and an appropriate risk-taking behavior are hardly developed by these theories and require regular practicing. For example, Steve Jobs achieved great success and built his well-known business of selling “Apple” devices, which are widely spread across the world. He dropped out of his university studies halfway and chose to improve his practical skills, which made him a successful person.
However, without a deep university degree, it is hard to find a high-paid job. Most professions require knowing specialized information, which cannot be learned without universities. Professions like doctors or engineers have to have a good range of knowledge to serve their patients or clients, and ordinary people are not able to do the same work as highly qualified specialists. Consequently, universities play a significant role in providing useful information, which is essential to becoming successful.
The access to networking opportunities with other peers, professors, and students is another key factor. To get a successful job, people have to broaden their horizons and have good communication skills. Therefore, most universities offer opportunities and special features to encourage students to communicate with others. The exchange of useful information and knowledge with other students can contribute to good communication skills and getting a wide range of useful information. Cambridge is a university that has groups on social networks and encourages its students to socialize with others. As a result, every student shares their own knowledge and helps each other. Thereby, the University of Cambridge is one of the most successful organizations, and students who graduate from this place are mainly willing to achieve high results in their lives.
In conclusion, while practical skills play a relatively substantial role in being successful, universities provide deep knowledge and give socializing opportunities for the benefit of students, which enable most people to find desired jobs and get significant salaries.

8.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. The introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved.

Suggestions
  • Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas.
  • Ensure that your examples are directly relevant to the point you are making.

The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice.

The essay uses a wide range of complex structures. There are a few minor errors, but they do not impede communication.

The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout the response. The arguments are well-developed and supported with relevant examples. However, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the key points and restating the position.

Suggestions
  • Ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and restates the position.