Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike . To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Today, the number of car accidents is rapidly rising. As a result, many people argue that a minimal age requirement to have a driving license should be increased. While age factor is directly connected with people’s responsibility, I believe that the age has minimal impact and better guidance programmes should be developed. Additionally, other aspects of roads play more crucial role in maintaining a road safety.
Young people have less sense of responsibility to others. By getting older many people become calmer and are less involved to have a risky behaviour. Consequently, the road accidents can be reduced, which sometimes are mainly caused by young people’s risky actions. For example, some countries such as Russia have minimal age of getting license at 18. By that, they prevent many road accidents caused by actions of teenageres. Thereby, the age factor plays relatively important role in the maintenance of road safety.
However, by an appropriate education to the road safety we can achieve better results than only limiting the age. Many drivers, due to poor educational programmes, even in relatively old ages, do not have enough knowledge and skills, to drive a car. As a result, it leads to an increase of car accidents and worsening the safety in roads. Therefore, I believe that a redevelopment of road safety curriculum and increasing its quality is a good method to maintain the road safety.
Another argument against the increase the minimum age is road conditions. Many countries have a poor infrastructure of their roads. Some poor planning of roads, signs, and errors in traffic lights are the main contributers of accidents, which affects drivers safety and actions. Therefore, improving these features of roads can significantly influence the safety on roads. For instance, in the United States of America, where the minimum age for driving a car is at 16 years, despite this fact the country has a relatively low number of cars accidents own to a good planning of their roads structure and frequent servicing the road objects such as traffic lights and signs.
In conclusion, while the age factor plays a negligible role in maintenance of the road safety, the appropriate curriculum for drivers and road conditions can be the better maintainers of the road safety.
The essay is logically organized and the ideas are connected well. However, there are a few areas where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. Clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph and more explicit linking phrases would help guide the reader through the essay. Ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will also improve readability.
Suggestions
- Try to use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more effectively.
- Make sure that your arguments are presented in a clear and logical order.
The essay uses a wide range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary, but there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. For example, “the age factor plays relatively important role in the maintenance of road safety” could be rephrased as “the age factor plays a relatively small role in maintaining road safety.” Improving word choice and using more formal language will enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of the essay. Additionally, ensuring consistent punctuation and spacing will improve readability.
The essay uses a variety of complex structures. However, there are a few grammatical errors and awkward constructions. The essay contains a few grammatical errors that affect clarity and readability. For example, “the age has minimal impact and better guidance programmes should be developed” should be “the age has minimal impact, and better guidance programs should be developed.” Paying closer attention to grammar, punctuation, and spacing will improve the overall quality of the essay.
The essay addresses the task effectively, presenting a clear position throughout. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the argument that raising the minimum age for driving a car or motorbike could improve road safety. The writer presents a clear position, stating that the age factor has minimal impact and better guidance programs should be developed. The essay provides relevant examples and explanations to support the argument. However, the essay could benefit from a more formal tone and style, as well as a more thorough discussion of potential counterarguments.
Suggestions
- Make sure to fully develop all of your arguments and provide specific examples to support your points.
- Consider addressing potential counterarguments to make your position more persuasive.