The chart below gives information about the age of women in Australia when they give birth to their first child in 1966, 1986 and 2006.
The bar graph compares the age of women having children for the first time in 1966, 1986, and 2006.
Overall, although in 1966 it was common to have a child by 25, after 40 years the trend was bucked. Women in their thirties had the most first births in 2006.
Starting with younger age groups, firstborn birth rates decreased among women from 19 to 29 years. The youngest mothers’ percentage was at around 30%; this, however, decreased gradually by over 3 times until 2006. Being the highest in the chart in the initial year, the number of 20–24-year-olds dropped by 2 times, to 30%. While that of 25-29 experienced a temporary increase followed by a return to the initial level.
Moving onto women aged 30 or more, despite showing the lowest rates of first birth in the first year, after 40 years the figure for them rose dramatically. Specifically, the 30-34 and 35-39 age groups had soared, going up by five and three times, respectively. Middle-aged mothers were the least popular in all three years in spite of increasing in the latter years.
The essay is generally well-organized with a clear progression of ideas. However, some transitions between paragraphs could be smoother.
Suggestions
- Use more linking words to improve flow.
- Clarify the comparison between different age groups.
- Ensure consistent use of time frames.
A good range of vocabulary is used, though some word choices could be more precise.
The essay demonstrates a variety of sentence structures, but some grammatical errors are present.
The essay addresses all parts of the task and presents a clear overview of the data.
Suggestions
- Include more specific data points to support the analysis.