The chart below shows the number of three types of visitors to a museum between 1997 and 2012.
The bar graph illustrates the number of three different groups of people who visited to a particular museum from 1997 to 2012
Overall, the number of adult visitors was the highest during the period, while special exhibition visitors less visited to the museum. It is also clear that the only group that experienced a significant drop was aged under 15.
In 1997, more than 300,000 of adults visited to the museum. Despite the figure remained almost unchanged, this age group was still dominant in 2002. While the number of visitors who aged under 15 dropped, decreasing from 120,000 in 1997, to 110,000 in 2002, the figure for special exhibition visitors showed a slight increase of 1200.
In 2007, adults more visited to the museum than others, with 400,500, the highest figure on the chart. The figure for individuals who aged under 15 and special exhibition visitors witnessed 87,000 and 27,700, respectively. In 2012, the number of both adult visitors and visitors aged under 15 decreased, while the figure for special exhibition visitors increased by 2012.
The essay is generally well-organized, but there are some issues with clarity and flow.
Suggestions
- Use clearer transitions between ideas.
- Ensure consistent use of tenses.
- Avoid repetition of phrases.
Adequate range of vocabulary, but some word choices are awkward or repetitive.
Frequent grammatical errors that sometimes obscure meaning.
The essay addresses the task but lacks some details and clarity in data presentation.
Suggestions
- Include more specific data points for clarity.
- Ensure all trends are clearly explained.