Strange is now a major problem in many countries around the world what are some of the factors in modern society that cause this stress? how can we reduce it?

In this day and age, stress has been a worldwide concerning issue that needs to be addressed. This essay will shed light on several reasons contributing to this problem as well as some feasible approaches to restrict it.
The more the society develops, the more stressful people endure. Firstly, many people have to meet various expectations from either their relatives or themselves in this hectic life. High school students, for instance, due to the desire to get into good universities, they are under significant pressure. They have to study and meet deadlines around the clocks to satisfy their aspirations, which make them feel overwhelmed as well as depressed. Secondly, a bunch of citizens are confronted with financial burden. To be more specific, owing to the economic recession after covid pandemic, various people were made redundant, thus they cannot afford expenditures to make ends meet including hospitalization, rental and many other fees. Even though they are on the go from the crack of dawn till late night, they are likelihood of suffering from stresses and strains.
There are some measures that can be taken to diminish these depression. First and foremost, in spite of tight schedules, they ought to keep a balanced timetable and save themselves at least a few hours in a day such as reading, meditation, exercise or even napping can have a significantly positive effect, which can help us to maintain an optimistic attitude to do everything. Secondly, governments are also blame for facilitating citizens to have a better life by enacting policies on welfare benefits for employees and scholarships for students, therefore they will have less financial pressure.
To sum up, as a result of the modernized world, stress has become problematic for many individuals. Although there are several factors around us leading to stress, we can take steps to lower it.

7.0

The essay is logically organized and ideas are connected well. However, there are a few instances where the flow of ideas could be improved. The essay follows a logical structure, but transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs could be smoother. The introduction sets up the topic well, but the connection between different points could be enhanced with more explicit linking phrases. The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points but could be more comprehensive.

Suggestions

Improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.
Use a wider range of linking words to connect ideas more effectively.

The essay uses a good range of vocabulary and there is evidence of some less common and idiomatic language. However, there are a few instances of awkward or incorrect word choice. The essay demonstrates a good command of a wide range of vocabulary relevant to the topic, such as “expectations,” “financial burden,” and “welfare benefits.” However, there are some instances of awkward or incorrect word choices that detract from the overall clarity and effectiveness of the writing. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to enhance the quality of the essay.

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms and there are only minor errors. The essay uses a variety of sentence structures and shows a good level of grammatical control. However, there are some minor errors in grammar and punctuation that could be addressed. For example, in the sentence “High school students, for instance, due to the desire to get into good universities, they are under significant pressure,” the phrase “due to the desire to get into good universities” is awkwardly placed and could be rephrased for clarity. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise grammatical structures could help to enhance the quality of the essay.

The essay addresses the task effectively, providing a clear position throughout the response. The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the factors contributing to stress in modern society and suggesting ways to reduce it. The writer presents a clear introduction and conclusion and provides relevant examples to support their points. However, the essay could be improved by providing more specific and varied examples to support the arguments. Additionally, the use of more varied and precise language could help to enhance the quality of the essay.