The diagram below shows the changes , which took place in a coastal area called Pentland from 1950 and 2007
The two maps illustrate how the town of Pentland changed between 1950 and 2007.
Overall, the Pentland transformed into a modernized town with an increased number of houses, shops and apartments. It is also clear that the town turned into a coastal area with a number of yachts.
In 1950, in the western side of the town, there were industrial areas including big factories with grassland. However it had been destroyed and constructed a park, swimming pool,multi-storey car park, shops and cinema which was located in a separated area with a road in the south.
The northern side of the map, which was located by the sea, it had been changed by adding to them yachts, namely Marina. In 2007, the road was reconstructed to give a good view of the sea.
The car park and grassland was in 1950 in the east of the Pentland. In 57 years, it had been turned into apartments, shops and a large number of houses in the particular area in the south.
The essay presents information logically but lacks some clarity and smooth progression.
Suggestions
- Use clearer linking words to connect ideas.
- Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
- Avoid abrupt transitions between ideas.
The vocabulary is adequate but lacks variety and precision.
The essay contains several grammatical errors that affect clarity.
The essay addresses the task but lacks detailed comparisons and specific data.
Suggestions
- Include more specific details from the map.
- Make clearer comparisons between the two years.
- Highlight significant changes with specific examples.