Fewer young people play sports these days.
Essay: cause and solution
Nowadays youngsters are more fewer playing sports.
In this essay will be explore between these problem and the suggest solution for.
One major reason for unpopularity in sport among young people is lacking comfortable conditions for doing sport. For instance I can indicate to the streets that don’t have the areas for playing sports like soccer, basketball and etc .This actually influence young guys to sit at their house and lead inactivity life for teenagers.
Another cause of it is give up so fast. Because of the great result need hard work and some time.And after that we got a lot of youngsters who immediately giving up on their ways
With proper methods like encourage young people on social media or on TV. With supporting youngsters on social media or on Tv we will certainly motivate them to do more sports.And also with this method we will establish the healthy atmosphere around them . For instance I can show you the program in our country with high sound name “soğlom hayot “ which helping to our kids and teenagers nowadays
moreover we have to build the environment where youngsters might will falling in love with sport. Nowadays there’s a lot of streets without sport spaces which create make our young people to stay at home’s. Solution of this problem is developing courts, fields,ares where our kids can play.
In conclusion a primary reasons why fewer young people play sport are not having the areas where kids may play sports and giving up too fast from them.However if there is more encouragement online by famous sportsmen to play sports and all necessities to do sports are
provided, and more young people will perhaps engage in sports.
The essay is logically organized and the progression of ideas is clear. However, there are some issues with the use of cohesive devices and the overall cohesion of the essay. The essay is structured with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in organizing the information. However, there are some issues with coherence, as the ideas are not always clearly connected. The use of cohesive devices is somewhat repetitive and could be improved to better guide the reader through the text. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the thesis.
Suggestions
- Use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure smooth transition between ideas.
- Make sure the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the thesis.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex vocabulary, but there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases. The essay demonstrates a sufficient range of vocabulary, with some attempts to use more complex language. However, there are some inaccuracies and awkward phrases that detract from the overall clarity. The use of more formal language is recommended, as some phrases are too casual for an academic essay. Additionally, the use of synonyms could be improved to avoid repetition and enhance the lexical resource.
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors and inaccuracies. The essay attempts to use a variety of sentence structures, but there are several grammatical errors that hinder comprehension. The use of more formal language is recommended, as some phrases are too casual. Additionally, the use of punctuation is often incorrect, which affects the clarity of the response.
The essay addresses the task and provides a relevant response. However, the argument could be more fully developed and supported. The essay addresses the topic by discussing the reasons behind the decrease in young people playing sports and suggesting potential solutions. However, the response could be more fully developed, as the ideas presented are somewhat superficial and lack detailed explanation. The use of more formal language is recommended, as some phrases are too casual. Additionally, the conclusion could be more effective in summarizing the main points and reiterating the thesis.
Suggestions
- Provide more detailed explanations and examples to support your arguments.
- Make sure the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the thesis.